hashtag NoAlarmLife

So, yeah...maybe I'm not good at the whole blogging thing.  I believe bloggers are supposed to post every few days, not every few years.  Oh well...just another thing to add to my Yeah-I'll-get-to-it list.  Since anyone who would be likely to read this is friends with me on Facebook, I'll skip the 2 year recap and just get right to the point...

As known by anyone who reads my Facebook posts, we (cough cough...I ) began homeschooling our older two kids in January.  This was done out of necessity since the public school the kids are in district for is absolute crap but I'd be lying if I didn't admit that this was something I've been wanting to do for a while.  Sure, I don't care for the strict design of Common Core, the bad attitudes the kids picked up from classmates,  or the silly things they would get in trouble for (talking during lunch!).  But my driving force for wanting to homeschool was my desire for time.  Time was missing with their bus arriving to pick them up at 6:57am and dropping them off at 3:00pm.  Time was missing in the 4 1/2 hours between bus drop off and bed time to fit in homework, playing with friends, chores, dinner, family time, bath, and bed. There was no time to enjoy my kids when we were all constantly tired.  With our new lifestyle, we still hold to bed times even if they are a bit later than the previous 7:30pm, but the kids can wake up naturally (no alarms!) and no one is rushed to shove down breakfast, get dressed, and run out the door!  Now our day can progress at a comfortable pace, allowing plenty of time for meals, school, chores, naps, play (lots of play), exploration, and learning.

My biggest struggle is trying to figure out how to homeschool this semester.  There are so many methods and opinions and curriculum and, not unlike the Marvel Universe, it is way bigger than any passer-by is aware.  Ideally, I would follow the more laid back approach, not forcing concepts before my child is ready but keeping the basics thoroughly covered.  Nothing as strict as the Well Trained mind, but nothing as independent as Unschooling.  (No offense intended to either style. I have friends in both camps and appreciate that both only want the best for their children!)   There would be days when only one or two subjects are covered and other days where we hit every topic.  We wouldn't stress over meeting every requirement in phonics or math on a set timed schedule, but take our time until the concept is truly grasped.  Unfortunately, that is a luxury only afforded to those who know they will be homeschooling for the duration of their child's education.  It used to be that a child could be dropped in to public school after being homeschooled for a number of years and just keep going, probably ahead of the majority of his peers.  With all the new rules and Common Core and topics that have to be learned in a certain way, in a specific order, dropping a child in to that environment is equivalent to educational suicide.  If a 1st grade homeschooler doesn't learn how to break apart and diagram a word into its syllables and accent marks, she will be behind her classmates if put in to a public school for 2nd grade.  No matter her reading level, no matter her vocabulary or spelling ability, she will be behind.  While I understand and believe in the importance of learning these phonics rules, trying to make sure that every topic is covered on time and accurately, takes away all the freedom of homeschooling.

And there is my problem, I don't know how long this wonderful, amazing, and special NoAlarmLife will be around.  We are on borrowed time here at Team Schultz.  Mike would prefer the kids be in the classroom and the kids have been registered for the local Charter School for next school year.  We've received a letter to attend a Kindergarten open house for Taegan and I've been told through rumors that once one kid is accepted in to the charter, the rest will surely follow.  Unless there is an unexpected circumstance around the corner, this venture will end before it has a chance to begin.  But if by chance we can continue, I'll give myself and the kids the grace to learn, investigate, and explore the world at our preferred leisurely pace.

Clean and simple

The closer to the way God made it, the better food tastes.  Sure, grape jelly is good in a PB&J, but there is nothing like the taste of cold fresh grapes.  And chicken nuggets are ok, but baked whole chicken...simply delicious.  I've been thinking a lot about food lately, and I have noticed that as a family we were eating and buying a LOT of processed food.  Six years ago a lady I worked with told me, "Only eat food that would go bad if you left it out on the counter."  I kind of got what she meant, but didn't pay much attention to her.  Now, I understand, I think of the things I eat and about their shelf life, fruit, vegetables, eggs, meats, cheeses...they would all go bad if the refrigerator went out.  THOSE are the things we should be eating.  And not just the foods that would spoil, but the things that are closest to their original form.  Lunch meat with the fillers and preservatives don't count.  Ice cream with the crazy amounts of sugar and fat don't count.  Milk counts.  Sliced turkey breast counts.  Canned fruits, vegetables, and beans are great for food drives and survival kits, but that isn't what we should be eating every day.  And food in its purest state is the most scrumptious!  How can jellybeans ever hope to compete with fruit salad?

Now when I fill my grocery cart I try to be aware of the things that go in it, rather than buying the simple boxed or canned items, I buy the whole food and find ways to make it different ways.  Tonight Mike and I discussed a better way to make apple cinnamon oatmeal, rather than buying instant oatmeal I am doing an over night crock pot recipe I found.  Chopped apples, cinnamon, homemade vanilla extract, honey, and oats...we will see tomorrow morning how it turned out.  My goal is to get us eating as clean as possible.  I am not naive enough to believe that we will ever go 100% clean foods, I'd be happy with 70% though.  I won't deny my kids the occasional bowl of ice cream or handful of M&M's, but I want them to prefer the taste of a banana over a pack of fruit snacks and the taste of fresh squeezed orange juice to kool-aid. Clean and simple.

Sweet and Sour

It is hard to imagine how your children will be as the grow.  Every parent believes they will have sweet, kind, well behaved children but then you actually have one and that little monster doesn't fit those descriptions, at least not as often as you'd like.  As you have more children, you realize that the sweet, giggling, happy four month old will eventually grow into a rowdy, misbehaving, stubborn four year old.  So how do you keep the sweetness lasting as long as possible?  Sure, every kid is different.  Some kids are sweet forever, some listen the first time you tell them something, some even poop rainbows and lollipops!  But for the rest of us who some times confuse our children for tiny minions from the devil, how do we discipline without being hypocritical, angry, or send the wrong message? 



Discipline is a hard thing.  As a parent, you try to guide your child to doing the right thing.  You try teaching, reasoning, compromising, bargaining, shouting, yelling, spanking, time out(ing), and punishing.  Each kid will respond in different ways, my oldest girl cries if she even thinks I am displeased with her behavior, my oldest boy lashes out, and my younger girl looks at me with an attitude usually seen in the hallways of the local middle school.  I can deal with the crying and the attitude, those are typical girl responses and I get those emotions.  What I don't know how to cope with is the typical boy reactions.

I recently read a parenting article that said when your child lashes out at you, verbally or physically, the best thing to do is ignore them, let them vent their rage, and then talk to them peacefully when the child has calmed down.  Ignore them, fine...talk to them peacefully, ok...but my issue is with the let them vent their rage part.  What is the appropriate way to let your child vent?  Mine likes to stomp, hit furniture, and punch things.  I don't think those are good habits to get into and I don't know how to get my son to redirect his anger and learn self control.  And let's be honest, yelling at an already angry child is about as pointless as telling the rain to stop falling.  So what?  Hope he grows out of it? Hug it out of him?  Try to find other ways to let him vent?  I don't know the answer and I guess that is the most appropriate sentence for any parent to utter because truthfully, you can never know the answer.  By the time you figure out one stage of your child's development, they have moved on and you have to start over.  And the best part...if you have another child, that one will be completely different than the first one! 

So, any brand new parent, soon to be parent, or not yet parent be prepared and at the same time, know you can never be prepared.  And those who are parents (especially to more than one child) you already know that there is nothing you can do but try and try again, lead them in the right direction, and hope at least some of it sticks.

mom friends

When I was in school I tried to have as many different types of friends as possible.  While most of my friends were associated with the band in some way, I didn't want to belong to just one group of people.  I'm sure I could have done better, but overall I'm satisfied with the variety of people with which I was acquainted.  However, I'm noticing that as I get older I am truly friends with fewer and fewer people.  I am friendly to everyone, but I don't want to be everyone's friend.  I'm sure it has to do with my stage in life, it is hard to build a relationship with someone who has no idea what I am going through on a daily basis.  My routine and schedule is completely centered around my children and it is hard to bring a non-parent into that lifestyle.  Someone who doesn't understand what it feels like to have a newborn living in your house, who doesn't know what it feels like to have someone touching and/or needing you physically (and emotionally and mentally) all day long, and who doesn't know what it is like to hurt when your child is shunned by other kids on the playground can't commiserate with me.  The funny part of all of it is that when you are a parent, especially those that are stay at home parents, NEED to have friends.  There has to be someone, other than your spouse, to vent and talk and laugh with.  I have found a few women that I am really drawn towards, women I feel know exactly what I am experiencing and who understand my quirkiness.  Sadly, some of these girls live in other states so the chances of a girls night out or lunch/play date is very slim, but it is amazing how easily text messages can connect people.  Since moving from Florida, my closest friends have come through text message and Facebook conversations, maybe that is a sign of the times or just what happens when you don't get out much, either way I'm glad for it.  So thanks girls!  My list of friends may be much MUCH smaller than it was 10 years ago, but I'd be lost without you.

this is nice...

I feel so different this time.  Every other pregnancy, delivery, and early postpartum time has left me feeling exhausted and not wanting to do much.  This time, I feel great.  Of course I am tired but I am getting things done.  We have food in the house, the laundry gets done, the kids get to bed at a decent hour (most days).  NONE of that happened after other pregnancies.  Other times, I have just been a lump of a person on the couch eating my way into a coma, only waking to feed children. 

This is a good feeling.  Maybe it's because I know this is it.  If I can make it out of this last newborn stage and (dare I say it) out of the diaper stage then it'll be *slightly* easier.  Maybe it's because I know this is the last year with all 4 kids at home, next year I'll lose both Zoe and Asher to school for 6 hours a day.  Whatever it is, it's nice.  I want to get back to the gym, I want to cook dinner every night, I want to have a structure to my day...those are words I never thought I'd say.  Maybe that is because if I didn't have structure I'd go insane, the 4 of them would overpower me and that would be the end.  Mike would come home to find me mumbling to myself while the kids threw things at me like Goldie Hawn in Overboard. 

I want this to go on. I hope that by the time I can get back to the gym, I'll still want to be there.  I have fitness goals and things I want to accomplish.  Now that my child bearing years are over I can do these things without worrying that I'll get pregnant again, we can make vacation plans a year in advance.  I can get into shape and not think that a pregnancy is going to slow me down.  I love my kids and looking at it as it is, I'm glad we had them all at once.  Now I can focus on raising them and getting to where I want to be as a mom and wife. 

For Angela, my Paul.

An amazing woman named Angela goes to First Baptist Church Buford.  She is an insightful teacher, good friend, fabulous mother, and doting wife.  She made me think about what it means to be a Christian woman in a way I've never before heard.  I heard on the radio one day a man speaking of how every Christian needs two types of people in his life, a Paul and a Timothy.  A Paul is the wiser and deeper Believer that can teach you how to become a better Christ-follower and a Timothy is a less mature Believer that you teach and bring up.  To the Paul, you are Timothy and to the Timothy, you are Paul.  Angela was my Paul for the short time we lived in Buford. 

Last night, Angela's 8 year old son, Isaac, died in his sleep.  They are not sure yet what caused his death, but he was a diabetic and it is believed that his death was somehow related to this.  I am so sad for Angela and her family.  She has 5 other children that she has to find the strength to continue to care for.  I don't know how a mother deals with the loss of a child.  I can't imagine.  In a mom group I belonged to in Florida, a woman had lost her 10 year old son, she said that there is nothing anyone can say to help the pain go away and the only thing that brought her any comfort was when another woman who had lost a child came to her and they simply cried together.  The only person who knows that kind of grief is someone who has been through it. 

I know Angela is strong in her faith and I know that she will (and has already) given this terrible situation to God and will continue to hope in Christ.  But I hope she finds a Paul to guide her through this time and when the time comes, she can be a Paul to the next grieving mother. 

Maybe it's just me but when I'm pregnant I become all consumed with the entire process.  It's all I can think about and, unfortunately for those around me, all I talk about.  And even thought this baby wasn't planned or expected, within hours of getting a positive test I had 8 iPhone apps and was thinking about names.  It's like the baby is some kind of strange parasite that overtakes my brain so I can only concentrate on what it is doing to my body and my life.  But it also makes me think about the kids I have now, how this baby is going to effect their lives once it's here and forever.  How is this little one going to change our established family dynamic.  Zoe is fine, she's great at being a big sister and this baby will not be a problem for her at all.  Asher will be alright as long as he can still get his early morning "cuddle time" with me, that's the only time of day that he NEEDS his momma.  Taegan, well...I'm really worried about how she is going to react.  She is incredibly jealous.  She is very independent, but as soon as Mike or I pick up or hold one of the other two, she flips out.  I don't think she is going to handle it very well at all.

But this is will be good for us.  We'll have to figure out how to work better as a family, how to better manage money, and how to parent 4 kids.  It's funny how your parenting style has to change every  time you add a new one into the mix.  With one child, you can do everything you always wanted (or thought you wanted), play dates, dance class, one on one time, you can discipline the way you want, enforce sleep time, dinner time, play time, learning time the way you want to.  There is no one else to screw up the perfect schedule you've set up for your family.  Number 2 comes along and things start to conflict, one naps when the other is awake, one is sick when the other has a play date, one only wants corn dogs the other only wants pb&j, one is a night owl the other is an early riser.  It's funny, but when number 2 arrives, you realize how easy it is to only have one.  Number 3 causes complete chaos, no one is ever asleep at the same time, no one can agree on food, no one wants to watch the same movie, and suddenly, the parents are out numbered and you run out of arm and lap space to hold everyone at the same time.  On the bright side rumor has it that after number 3 your brain turns to complete mush and any kids you have after that just kind of fit in somewhere.  It's gonna be an interesting ride.