this is nice...

I feel so different this time.  Every other pregnancy, delivery, and early postpartum time has left me feeling exhausted and not wanting to do much.  This time, I feel great.  Of course I am tired but I am getting things done.  We have food in the house, the laundry gets done, the kids get to bed at a decent hour (most days).  NONE of that happened after other pregnancies.  Other times, I have just been a lump of a person on the couch eating my way into a coma, only waking to feed children. 

This is a good feeling.  Maybe it's because I know this is it.  If I can make it out of this last newborn stage and (dare I say it) out of the diaper stage then it'll be *slightly* easier.  Maybe it's because I know this is the last year with all 4 kids at home, next year I'll lose both Zoe and Asher to school for 6 hours a day.  Whatever it is, it's nice.  I want to get back to the gym, I want to cook dinner every night, I want to have a structure to my day...those are words I never thought I'd say.  Maybe that is because if I didn't have structure I'd go insane, the 4 of them would overpower me and that would be the end.  Mike would come home to find me mumbling to myself while the kids threw things at me like Goldie Hawn in Overboard. 

I want this to go on. I hope that by the time I can get back to the gym, I'll still want to be there.  I have fitness goals and things I want to accomplish.  Now that my child bearing years are over I can do these things without worrying that I'll get pregnant again, we can make vacation plans a year in advance.  I can get into shape and not think that a pregnancy is going to slow me down.  I love my kids and looking at it as it is, I'm glad we had them all at once.  Now I can focus on raising them and getting to where I want to be as a mom and wife.