mom friends

When I was in school I tried to have as many different types of friends as possible.  While most of my friends were associated with the band in some way, I didn't want to belong to just one group of people.  I'm sure I could have done better, but overall I'm satisfied with the variety of people with which I was acquainted.  However, I'm noticing that as I get older I am truly friends with fewer and fewer people.  I am friendly to everyone, but I don't want to be everyone's friend.  I'm sure it has to do with my stage in life, it is hard to build a relationship with someone who has no idea what I am going through on a daily basis.  My routine and schedule is completely centered around my children and it is hard to bring a non-parent into that lifestyle.  Someone who doesn't understand what it feels like to have a newborn living in your house, who doesn't know what it feels like to have someone touching and/or needing you physically (and emotionally and mentally) all day long, and who doesn't know what it is like to hurt when your child is shunned by other kids on the playground can't commiserate with me.  The funny part of all of it is that when you are a parent, especially those that are stay at home parents, NEED to have friends.  There has to be someone, other than your spouse, to vent and talk and laugh with.  I have found a few women that I am really drawn towards, women I feel know exactly what I am experiencing and who understand my quirkiness.  Sadly, some of these girls live in other states so the chances of a girls night out or lunch/play date is very slim, but it is amazing how easily text messages can connect people.  Since moving from Florida, my closest friends have come through text message and Facebook conversations, maybe that is a sign of the times or just what happens when you don't get out much, either way I'm glad for it.  So thanks girls!  My list of friends may be much MUCH smaller than it was 10 years ago, but I'd be lost without you.

this is nice...

I feel so different this time.  Every other pregnancy, delivery, and early postpartum time has left me feeling exhausted and not wanting to do much.  This time, I feel great.  Of course I am tired but I am getting things done.  We have food in the house, the laundry gets done, the kids get to bed at a decent hour (most days).  NONE of that happened after other pregnancies.  Other times, I have just been a lump of a person on the couch eating my way into a coma, only waking to feed children. 

This is a good feeling.  Maybe it's because I know this is it.  If I can make it out of this last newborn stage and (dare I say it) out of the diaper stage then it'll be *slightly* easier.  Maybe it's because I know this is the last year with all 4 kids at home, next year I'll lose both Zoe and Asher to school for 6 hours a day.  Whatever it is, it's nice.  I want to get back to the gym, I want to cook dinner every night, I want to have a structure to my day...those are words I never thought I'd say.  Maybe that is because if I didn't have structure I'd go insane, the 4 of them would overpower me and that would be the end.  Mike would come home to find me mumbling to myself while the kids threw things at me like Goldie Hawn in Overboard. 

I want this to go on. I hope that by the time I can get back to the gym, I'll still want to be there.  I have fitness goals and things I want to accomplish.  Now that my child bearing years are over I can do these things without worrying that I'll get pregnant again, we can make vacation plans a year in advance.  I can get into shape and not think that a pregnancy is going to slow me down.  I love my kids and looking at it as it is, I'm glad we had them all at once.  Now I can focus on raising them and getting to where I want to be as a mom and wife. 

For Angela, my Paul.

An amazing woman named Angela goes to First Baptist Church Buford.  She is an insightful teacher, good friend, fabulous mother, and doting wife.  She made me think about what it means to be a Christian woman in a way I've never before heard.  I heard on the radio one day a man speaking of how every Christian needs two types of people in his life, a Paul and a Timothy.  A Paul is the wiser and deeper Believer that can teach you how to become a better Christ-follower and a Timothy is a less mature Believer that you teach and bring up.  To the Paul, you are Timothy and to the Timothy, you are Paul.  Angela was my Paul for the short time we lived in Buford. 

Last night, Angela's 8 year old son, Isaac, died in his sleep.  They are not sure yet what caused his death, but he was a diabetic and it is believed that his death was somehow related to this.  I am so sad for Angela and her family.  She has 5 other children that she has to find the strength to continue to care for.  I don't know how a mother deals with the loss of a child.  I can't imagine.  In a mom group I belonged to in Florida, a woman had lost her 10 year old son, she said that there is nothing anyone can say to help the pain go away and the only thing that brought her any comfort was when another woman who had lost a child came to her and they simply cried together.  The only person who knows that kind of grief is someone who has been through it. 

I know Angela is strong in her faith and I know that she will (and has already) given this terrible situation to God and will continue to hope in Christ.  But I hope she finds a Paul to guide her through this time and when the time comes, she can be a Paul to the next grieving mother.